


What Have I Done

by Fanofeverything101



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Fever, Gen, Gunshot, Injury, Thomas Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24118117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanofeverything101/pseuds/Fanofeverything101
Summary: Teresa told him that he was the cure, that he could save Newt, but it was too late. He was dead. He couldn't save Newt, but maybe he could save his other friends and the other immune kids. *Thomas's thoughts at the end of Death Cure movie.*
Kudos: 6





	1. Done Running

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Maze Runner fandom! Ever since I first watched the Death Cure, I have had this plot in my head, along with another one that I will hopefully be working on soon, and thought I would write and post it. It was supposed to be a one-shot of Thomas’s thoughts after Newt’s death to the end of the film and a bit after, but due to how long it was getting, I ultimately decided to make it multi-chapter story instead of one after talking to a fellow Maze Runner fan. The first two chapters detail events that happened in the movie while the chapters after that are more original. This is my first Maze Runner story. Hope you all like it!

Thomas stared in horror at Newt’s body, the knife still sticking out of his best friend’s chest. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not at all. They were supposed to be immune, Newt should’ve been immune. But he wasn’t, and he got the Flare. They were supposed to rescue Minho and get the serum for Newt. While they succeeded in saving the former runner, they didn’t the serum in time. And now, their friend was dead. Newt was dead because none of them were fast enough, not this time.

_Thomas, you can save Newt_.

_It’s your blood._

That was what Teresa said. If she was telling the truth, then that meant, that meant he could’ve saved Newt. He could’ve saved Winston. If he had stayed at the WCKD base after he and the other Gladers were taken from the Maze and let them check his blood and realize he was the cure, then maybe his friends that he lost in the Scorch would still be alive. The Right Arm would still be alive. Minho, Aris, Sonya, and several other immune kids wouldn’t have been taken and tortured. WCKD did all of that in order to try and find their precious cure.

Then, a sudden thought came to his mind. If he continued to run, would WCKD keep rounding up kids? Would WCKD come after them? Would the rest of his friends die like the others? Before he could come up with an answer though, he heard the sound of feet on the pavement running towards him. Thomas looked up in time to see Brenda come to a stop a few feet away, the shocked and grief-stricken expression revealing that she had just realized that Newt was dead, that she was too late.

Thomas stared at Brenda as both of their eyes filled with tears over the loss of their friend. He then noticed that her right hand was clenched tightly, as if she was holding something tightly. It only took him a second to realize that it was the serum, the one that was supposed to help Newt. It wouldn’t have saved the blonde though. Apparently, only Thomas’s blood could do that, and that serum wasn’t made from his blood.

_You can save Newt._

No, he couldn’t save Newt, he was too late for that, but he wasn’t too late to save the others. If WCKD had him, if they had their cure, they wouldn’t need the other Immunes. They would leave them alone, they would be safe. The only thing Thomas wanted to do was save his friends, but in his attempts to do that, he endangered them and got them killed. He wasn’t going to do that anymore. He was going to keep them all safe.

Thomas took another look at Newt’s body before looking over at Brenda, the tears in his eyes making his vision blurry. Then, he turned and started walking away from her and the lifeless body of his best friends, and towards WCKD. Luckily, Brenda didn’t try to stop him, not that he would’ve let her if she did. He was on a mission and no one was going to stop.

He had to know, had to know if Teresa was telling the truth. If she wasn’t, then he was going to kill Ava Paige and Janson. It was the only way to ensure his friends and the other Immunes stayed safe. And if Teresa was telling the truth, then he’d make a deal. He’d stay, he’d be their cure, as long as they promised to leave the rest of the Immunes alone. That was the only thing he cared about now, and it wasn’t like WCKD would need them when they had an actual cure.

_It stops when we find a cure_.

Teresa’s words from earlier echoed in Thomas’s ears as he walked down the street towards WCKD’s headquarters, not even really aware of the fighting going on around him. The sound of gunfire and bombs going off were nothing but white noise to him. He didn’t care, the only thing about was ending this, ending all of it. Teresa said all this stops when they find a cure. Well, they found it now, found him, so it was now time to end this.

Thomas broke out of his dazed reverie when he entered the WCKD building. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, guards running around or something, but no. The place looked completely deserted. The guards were most likely fighting outside, but Thomas held his gun tighter in his hand, ready to fire at anyone who got in his way. No one did though, allowing Thomas to make his way through the building without any problems. It was almost like it was meant to be. He tried leading his friends away from WCKD, Jason and his agents went after them. He willing walks into their headquarters and no one stops him.

He found Ava on one of the lower floors. She was standing by the window, staring out at the fighting that was happening below. The doctor looked a bit more like a normal person than the cold, professional, WCKD figurehead that Thomas had always seen her as. Sure, she was still wearing her trademark white clothes, but her hair was down and she was wearing a gray sweater. Silently, Thomas walked towards her, lifting up the gun in his hand as he did so.

Ava didn’t notice him until her cocked the gun. The place was so quiet that the sound echoed loudly enough for the doctor to hear it clearly, causing her to turn her head to see who made the noise. When she realized that it was him, and that he was pointing a gun at her, she turned completely to face him. She didn’t say a word though. Instead, Ava looked a little like she was worried about him.

“Is it true?” Thomas asked her, a little shocked at how his voice sounded. He was so focused on reaching Teresa and Ava that he didn’t realize that there were tears still streaming down his cheeks and there was a sob trying to rise to the surface until now. The teenager ignored it though and when he saw the confused expression on Ava’s face, he elaborated, “Newt. Could I have saved him?”

A look of realization crossed Ava’s face as she heard the way Thomas talked about Newt before she gave him a small nod and said, “You can save us all.”

Thomas stared at her for a moment, trying to see through his tears to see if she was lying or not. Despite how little he trusted her, he knew that Ava and Teresa wouldn’t lie about something that serious. They wouldn’t have any reason to. His shaking arm suddenly seemed to lose all strength and he lowered it as he dropped the gun.

The sound of the weapon hitting the ground echoed loudly throughout the hallway as Thomas lowered his head, the tears he had been trying to hold back threatening to overwhelm him. They weren’t lying, he could’ve saved Newt. He could’ve saved his best friend. If he had gone with Teresa to let her run those tests she wanted to do when she asked only hours ago, she could have made a cure for Newt. They could have saved him. He could have saved him.

“It’s okay.” Thomas heard Ava whisper as she placed her hand on his shoulder. He didn’t even realize that she come closer to him.

Slowly, he raised head to look at her and with tears in his eyes and a broken voice, Thomas begged, “Just leave the others alone.”

Ava gave him a small, but reassuring and sincere smile as she said, “I promise. I will-”

_BANG!_

Thomas instinctively flinched at the sound of a gun going off while a stunned and pained expression came upon Ava’s face. As her eyes began to become empty and lifeless, Thomas looked down and saw her white shirt turn red with blood on her chest. She then started to fall forward, causing him to take a step back so she wouldn’t fall on him. As the doctor fell limply to the ground, Thomas looked up to see who had fired the gun, who was it that apparently wasn’t Ava Paige dead besides him. It took a few seconds for the smoke from the gun’s barrel to clear, but once it did, Janson’s figure became visible.

Thomas didn’t know whether or not he should be surprised at Janson’s presence, at the fact that he just killed the woman he worked for and was now pointing a gun at him. He knew that the head of WCKD’s security was a bit trigger happy, and knew that he hated him, but why would he kill Ava? And if he heard Teresa’s broadcast, he would know that Thomas’s blood was the cure. Did Janson really hate him enough to let all those that were infected die so he could kill him?

Slowly, Janson stalked towards him, keeping his gun pointed at Thomas’s chest. Thomas instinctively took another step back, but didn’t try to run. He found he didn’t care if the man shot him, if the man killed him. Death couldn’t hurt worse than the pain that he was already in. So many of his friends were already dead. Newt, Chuck, Winston, Alby, and more. His friends that were still alive were safe, or at least, he hoped that they were. He didn’t have any reason to fight anymore.

Janson didn’t fire though, even when he came to stand in front of the teenager. Thomas stared at him, waiting, but still nothing happened. The two just stared at each other. Finally, Thomas decided to say something, though he wasn’t exactly sure what, when Janson made his move. It happened so fast that Thomas barely saw it, his brain working so slow it didn’t really register what the

older man did. He sure felt it though.

Janson had moved his arm and the next thing that Thomas was aware of was a sharp pain in his neck. As he stumbled back a few steps away from Janson, he lifted his hand to the source of the pain and found a small needle sticking out of his neck. He pulled it out, but it was too late. Whatever it was that Janson had injected him with had already taken affect. Thomas’s limbs grew heavier and heavier with each passing second, and his mind became foggy. Everything was swimming in and out of focus. His legs then buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Thomas tried to move, knowing that he needed to get away from Janson, but found that he couldn’t, he was too weak. As he tried to move though, he saw his gun still lying on the floor where he had dropped it only minutes earlier. Weakly, the teenager tried to reach for it, but WCKD’s head of security quickly saw what he was doing and kicked the gun far out of Thomas’s reach.

“Oh Thomas.” Janson said with a slight singsong tone, though Thomas barely heard him. The sedative had almost completely pulled him under.

As the teenager’s gaze drifted from Janson’s face to Ava’s lifeless body, his vision blurred. The last thing he heard before he completely passed out was Janson’s voice saying, “You should have run.”


	2. Doesn't Even Matter

_‘I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter’_ – **_In the End_ , Linkin Park**

Thomas awake feeling more groggy than he did after he stabbed himself with the griever’s needle in the Glade, or the time he drank from the bottle Marcus gave him before he passed out in the middle of the crowd back in the Scorch. His body and head hurt a bit like both of those times, though his head, neck, chest, and arms seemed to be hurting the worst. Hearing a slight noise on his left, as well as feeling of finger graze his left arm before feeling a sharp sting near his elbow, Thomas opened his eyes and turned his head from right to left and found Teresa sitting beside him.

The teenager wasn’t all that surprised to see her by his side. When he awoke from being stung by a griever, she was there in the pit with me. And she was there when he woke up after being drugged by Marcus, she was leaning over him. Despite everything Teresa did, it made sense that she would be there.

As he stared at her, he watched her eyes rise up to look at him with a strange expression. It was a bit of a poker face, yet in her eyes, there was a look of warning and concern. He then felt a slight tugging on his arm, where he had felt a sharp sting earlier. Thomas looked down and saw a needle in his arm, the syringe it was attached to filling with his blood. It was then the memories of what happened came flooding back. Newt lying dead on the ground with a knife in his chest, finding Ava Paige, Janson killing her.

“Do you know what this place is Thomas?” The teenager craned his head up when he heard Janson’s voice. His eyes quickly the man who knocked him out standing by the window. When Thomas didn’t answer, Janson looked over his shoulder at him and said, “It’s a lifeboat. And the whole world might be sinking, but that doesn’t mean we have to go down with it.:

Thomas pretty much ignored what Janson was saying, having been distracted when he felt Teresa pull the needle out of his arm. It was then that he saw the straps around his wrists and waist, keeping him restrained to the gurney he was lying on. He didn’t really notice them before at all. He pulled against the straps holding him down, testing their strength and how tight they were. They didn’t budge at all, but a new pain in his other arm got his attention from the action. Turning his head, he saw another needle in his limb, but this one was attached to a tube that seemed to be drawing even more of his blood out of his body.

As he was doing all of this, he heard Janson and Teresa talking and moving around a few feet away from him. He ignored them however, his attention on the fact that they were draining his blood and since he was tied down, there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Hearing heavy footsteps coming towards him, Thomas looked over to see Janson coming to stand beside him. Once he was, Thomas asked, “Why don’t you just kill me?”

A quizzical expression came upon Janson’s face when he heard the teenager’s question before he replied, “Kill you? No, we don’t want to do that.”

This time, Thomas was the one getting a little confused. Yes, it was true that his blood was apparently the cure to the Flare virus, but he never thought that Janson really cared all that much about that. He was the head of WCKD’s security, taking orders from Ava. And it was no secret that he wanted to kill Thomas. He had tried before. Now that Ava was dead, why didn’t he kill him like he wanted to before? It’s not like Thomas was going to stop him this time.

Janson took another step closer to the teenage, and with a sick look on his face, said, “We are going to take special care of you.”

Thomas felt his blood freeze at the sound of that. There was something in Janson’s voice, in the expression on his face that promised that whatever plan he had in mind, it would not be good for the teenager. True, he had come to surrender himself to WCKD, to be their cure willingly, but there was a difference between surrendering to Ava than to Janson. As much as he disagreed with her, hated her for what she did to him and his friends, he knew deep down that she did care about them, in her own, strange way. At the very least, she wouldn’t do anything to hurt him unless absolutely necessary. Janson however, would definitely enjoy hurting him as much as possible.

“We’ll keep you alive. Just.” Thomas shot up as fast as he could, wanting to tackle the man who was apparently planning on keeping him prisoner. The straps around his wrists and waist though, kept him from his goal.

Janson flinched when Thomas tried to jump him. It was very slight, but he did definitely flinch. He also closed his eyes when he did. Though the older man’s expression remained controlled, it was clear that he was at least a little startled by Thomas’s actions. Janson however, quickly got over it. He opened his eyes to stare straight at Thomas and added, “And in return, you will give life to the rest of us. The ones we choose to save anyways.”

Thomas hardened his glare at the older man when he saw Janson smirk a little as he said the last part of his sentence. Janson didn’t seem to care though. He just grabbed an syringe injector from the table near the foot of the gurney Thomas was tied too, then started walking over to Teresa as he continued, “Of course there’s not going to be enough for everyone. Hard choices are going to have to be made.”

Thomas immediately began struggling under the straps again, trying to get free, needing to get free. He pulled with all his might, twisted his body as hard and far as he could in order to pull the straps apart, but they refused to budge. He kept trying though, despite Janson still talking, apparently under the impression that Thomas was listening, when in actuality, he was hardly paying attention. He did hear the older man say something about who was going to be the ones left standing though. That caused him to stop and look back over at Janson, who was now standing beside Teresa. The teenager watched as he grabbed something from the fellow teenager before he turned around and walked back over to Thomas.

As he made his way to Thomas, Janson held up the small vial in his hand that contained a blue liquid, the cure, and said, “And thanks to you, to this, we finally get to choose.”

“A future of our own making.” Janson finished, putting the vial in the syringe that he picked up earlier. Thomas watched him closely, wondering what exactly he was doing. He didn’t really understand why the man was putting the cure into the syringe. There wasn’t anyone infected around that needed it, was there? It was then though, that Janson pulled up his sleeve and the pieces fell into place.

There, on the man’s left arm, were the inky black veins that were beginning to wrap around his limb. He was infected, he had the Flare. Thomas stared in bewilderment at the head of WCKD’s security. There was a small part of him that was surprised, as the thought of Janson being infected never crossed his mind, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. It explained so much, why he was so determined to capture every Immune he could, why he hunted them down in the Scorch even though WCKD still had several Immunes with them, why he hated him so much after he led his friends into the Scorch, and why he didn’t kill him after he killed Ava. He needed him,

Thomas looked up at Janson’s face just as he looked up at him, their eyes locked for a brief moment. But then, something behind the grey-haired man caught Thomas’s attention. Teresa was doing something, but the brunette couldn’t fully see what. His attention was quickly pulled back to Janson when the older man started talking again however.

“To your health.” The second those words left Janson’s mouth, Thomas turned his head and body in the opposite direction and braced himself as he had seen what Teresa was doing a milli-second before he finished speaking. She had grabbed a large, glass, beaker, and was swinging it towards Janson’s head.

The sound of glass shattering filled the room and was immediately followed by a loud thump, the sound a body makes when it falls to the ground. Once Thomas was sure there was no longer any glass flying, he turned back to see Teresa standing over Janson’s unconscious body. The young woman then bent down and grabbed the syringe that fell from the man’s head before she stood back up and reached across Thomas’s waist as she said, “Okay, let’s get out of here.”

Thomas stared at Teresa in surprise. Throughout the last few minutes since he woke up, he hadn’t payed much attention to her since Janson and the situation he found himself in demanded his focus, but now he was, and he was stunned as well as confused. He thought she wanted the cure, thought that nothing was going to stop or get in the way of her quest to save the world. Apparently, he was wrong.

“Come on.” Teresa told him when he didn’t move, immediately pulling him from his thoughts and snapping him into action. Though he couldn’t really help her free himself, he pulled on the restraints in an attempt to loosen them for her.

It took a moment, but Teresa finally managed to undo the leather strap around Thomas’s right wrist. Unfortunately, that was also the moment when things turned worse once again. The two were so focused on their task that neither of them were keeping an eye on Janson, as they both assumed that the blow to the head Teresa gave him would keep him out cold for a while. They were wrong.

With a short yet loud cry of surprise and pain, Teresa was pulled away from Thomas, who immediately look over to her to see what was happening. When he saw that Janson, who was no longer unconscious, had grabbed her and threw her to the floor, Thomas pulled again the remaining restraints as he yelled out, “No!”

Now, more determined than ever to get free, Thomas used his unrestrained arm to start undoing the strap around his waist, though his eyes kept moving up to see Teresa trying her best to get away from Janson. He could hear Janson yelling at her, demanding she gave the syringe back, but Teresa kept refusing. He knew that if she didn’t give up the cure, the older man would kill her, and Thomas couldn’t let that happen. He just lost Newt, he already lost Chuck, Alby, Winston and others. He couldn’t lose another person he cared about, no matter what she had done.

Thomas’s fury reached its peak when he saw Janson and Teresa’s head by her hair and slammed her head into the metal table. He called out her name, but she didn’t respond. Instead, she fell down to the floor as limp as a ragdoll, completely unconscious. The teenager then ripped off the remaining strap, jumped off the gurney and charged straight at Janson, his rage making his vision completely red. As he reached the older man, he pushed as hard as he could, the force of the shove pushing them both right through the glass wall and onto the floor.

Once the shock of breaking though the wall wore off, Thomas felt Janson push him away. He didn’t pay much attention to that though. He had to get off the ground first, especially if he had to keep fighting the head of security and escape with Teresa. As he stood though, he saw that Janson was already on his feet, and that was all his brain had time to register before he was punched in the face.

Adrenaline surging through his body, the teenager punched the man bac, then again with enough strength that Janson’s body turned to face the wall. Taking advantage of his position Thomas charged at him again, pushing him against it. Since it wasn’t a glass wall, they didn’t go through it, but Janson was able to turn back around so he was facing Thomas.

Now that they were facing each other, the older man tried to elbow the much younger one, but Thomas managed to duck, just barely though. Janson tried elbowing him again, this time, hitting the teenager right in his jaw. The force of the blow caused Thomas to spin around and fall onto his knees. Before Thomas could recover, he felt a thin wire wrap around his neck and started choking as it was pulled taut.

Struggling to breathe, his lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, the brunette somehow managed to get to his feet and walked backwards, pushing the man who was choking him against the wall once again. He wasn’t sure where he got the strength from, but apparently, it was enough to make Janson let go of the wire, allowing air to get into Thomas’s lungs once again. The second he realized he could finally breathe, the teenager turned around and threw a punch at Janson again, but the adult blocked it. Before he could do anything else to the man he was fighting, Janson punch him, hard. The force of the blow caused Thomas to spin in a half circle before he fell to his knees.

For a moment, Thomas stayed still. He could feel the adrenaline in his body starting to run thin. His head was pounding and his limbs were becoming to feel heavy. The brunette wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep fighting. Then, he heard Janson’s voice,

“Come on.”

Thomas suddenly felt furious. This man hunted them down in the Scorch. He attacked the Right Arm, killed so many of them. Then he kidnapped Minho, killed Ava, hurt Teresa, and wanted to use him as his personal cure. Now he was challenging him? _Fine_ , Thomas thought to himself. _If it’s a fight he wants, it’s a fight he’ll get_.

In a rage-induced haze, Thomas turned around and let his clenched fist fly into Janson’s face. Then, he punched him again in a matter of seconds after the first one. WCKD’s head of security didn’t have any time to recover from the blows before Thomas drove his right into the man’s stomach. He went to punch the man again, but at that point, Janson had recovered enough to fight back. Not only was he able to block the blow coming for his face, he was able to grab Thomas’s arm and slap him across the face. Because he was still holding onto the teenager’s arm, he couldn’t stop the grey-haired man from grabbing the back of his neck and throwing him onto the floor.

He slid a little on the ground which slightly burned his elbow, but he soon stopped. Thomas started to move, pushing himself up from off his side and into a crouching position. He was planning on charging the man again, but stopped and stayed completely still when he saw Janson reached for something under the back of his jacket as he said, “Okay. That’s enough.”

Thomas stared at Janson and the gun he had pulled out. The sight of him holding the weapon out, threatening to shoot brought up a memory from six months ago, though it was slightly different. In the memory, Thomas was lying on his back, outside, and Janson was standing directly over him, seconds away from pulling the trigger. He had no doubt that the man in front of him was going to kill him that night, but he wondered if he actually would now. He still needed him alive if he wanted to create more of the cure. Then again, that didn’t mean Janson couldn’t hurt him.

The sound of loud panting and footsteps drew Thomas’s attention towards the source of the noise and away from Janson. Standing in the doorway of the room the two were in just minutes ago, was Teresa. She didn’t appear injured, but upon seeing what was going on, she stopped in her tracks and stared. Her shocked and fearful gaze darted back and forth from Thomas and Janson, but she didn’t move nor did she say anything. Nobody did, because neither knew exactly what Janson was going to do. Realizing that he had the teenagers under his control, he smiled like a madman, but then, Thomas saw something that Janson didn’t. Two fireballs coming right for the building.

As they hit their target, the sound of explosions echoed loudly in Thomas’s ears and he was completely forced back down on the floor due to the force of the blast rocking the whole building. Once the initial blast was over, he looked back over at Teresa and saw that she had fallen to her knees but was in the process of getting back up. One glance over at Janson who was also on the ground but appeared to be unconscious was all it took for the young man to get to his feet. He had no idea how long the grey-haired man would be down which made this his and Teresa’s best chance to get away.

Because she hadn’t fully fallen down and had gotten up before he did, Teresa was already speed-walking down the hallway by the time Thomas stood up. He saw her look over her shoulder at him before she made a ‘come on’ motion with her hand. Immediately, he rushed after the fellow teenager, though at a much slower pace than was normal for him as not only were his muscles exhausted and sore due to the fight with Janson, but also because it still somewhat felt the building was shaking slightly and he didn’t want to lose his balance.

Upon reaching her, Thomas looked back at the man who had attacked both of them and saw that not only was he getting back up, he had grabbed the gun and was pointing it at them. It only took another second for Thomas to realize that Janson wasn’t pointing the weapon at him, but at the young woman beside him.

“Teresa!” Thomas shouted in warning, running towards her to pull her out of Janson’s line of fire, but at that point, the man was already shooting and a sharp pain exploded in his side.


	3. I Tried

Thomas paused for a split second when he felt the stab of agony in his right side, but he somehow was able to ignore it. They had to get out of here and to safety. Luckily, Teresa seemed to know where to go. Even though he was the one with his arms around her, she led him down a different corridor and down into before ducking into the farthest room. By the time they got there, Thomas felt dizzy and dazed. He stumbled away from Teresa and looked down at where he felt the sharp pain earlier.

“We need to get out of here.” Though she was only about three feet away from him, Thomas barely heard Teresa’s voice. All of his attention was on the fact that there was a spot on his shirt that was a much darker colour than it should be and it was rapidly growing larger. He lifted his hand to the spot and quickly realized that the changing colour was due to a thick, red, liquid that was now running through his fingers. It was only then that his brain put the pieces in place. He was bleeding. He was bleeding because he had been shot. Janson had shot him.

“What’s wrong?” He heard Teresa ask. Thomas couldn’t think of an answer, couldn’t even really remember how to think or speak. He simply turned around to face her, his hand still over the injury. With his eyes on his bloodied hand, he pulled it away slowly. The shock flooding his body seemed to be stealing the air from his lungs, making it harder to breathe.

“Thomas?” Hearing his name, Thomas finally lifted his head but by the time he did that, the building shook again. His shaking legs nearly crumbled under him, causing him to lean against the table behind him as Teresa suddenly appeared beside him and grabbed his left arm. The young man tried to stay standing but quickly lost his balance and slid down to the floor. He was able to keep himself in a sitting position though.

Once he was somewhat steady in his spot on the floor with his back against a desk, he looked down at the bullet wound on his side again. Thomas could feel the blood leaking from his body and could see the stain on his shirt growing larger. He lifted his hand to grab the hem of the fabric and raised it so he could see the injury clearly. At the sight of the bloody wound, Teresa let out a loud gasp.

“Okay. Okay, we need to,” Teresa started rambling while Thomas simply cursed under his breath. Having no energy to move, he stayed still and watched the young woman beside him rummage through the drawers of the desk across from them as she kept muttering.

Suddenly, she turned back to face him, holding what appeared to be a bunch of cloths in her hand and said, “Here. Here.”

Thomas gasped slightly when Teresa pushed the cloths against his injury and told him to put pressure on the wound and hold it. He didn’t move. He didn’t have any strength to. Whether it was because of shock, blood loss, or the fact he used every bit of adrenaline and energy he had in his fight with Janson, he didn’t know. It didn’t matter why he had no strength anyways, not in the long run. At this point, Thomas knew that the odds of escaping the building and Janson were practically zero.

“You gotta go.” Thomas managed to whisper to Teresa. He waited until she raised her head to look straight into his eyes before he repeated, “You gotta go.”

“No. Not without you.” Teresa stated, her voice quiet but resolute. For a few seconds, the two teenagers stared at each, one silently begging the other to leave him and safe herself while the other silently told him that there was no way he’d be able to convince her to leave him.

Before Thomas could try to get her to go with his voice, a loud hissing noise followed by the sound of a door opening pulled their attention towards the only entrance to the room they were hiding in. Knowing exactly who had entered the room even though they couldn’t see the person, Teresa pushed Thomas into the hollow part of the desk in between the drawers where a chair or stool would normally go. Once he was as hidden as he could be, Teresa disappeared to find her own place to hide.

“I admit Teresa, you had me fooled. I thought we were friends.” Janson’s voice interrupted the tense silence. Suddenly worried that Janson had already found Teresa, Thomas moved his foot to kick a beaker on the floor towards the desk opposite of him which created a clanging noise. Hearing the heavy footsteps coming in his direction, he knew he effectively got the adult’s attention.

“Maybe it’s just in your nature to betray the people closest to you.” Janson continued talking, but only to Teresa even though it was clear that he had no idea where exactly she was. And when he walked right past him, Thomas started to wonder if Janson had forgotten he was there too. Maybe he knew that he shot him and thought he was now dead or something. Thomas instinctively put a bit more pressure on his wound despite knowing that it soon wouldn’t matter. He’ll be dead soon enough if he didn’t get treatment. Maybe he’ll see Newt, Chuck, Winston, Alby and the others once he does die.

There was another sudden noise, one that Thomas couldn’t identify, that was quickly followed by the sound of a gun firing and glass shattering. For a brief moment, Thomas waited anxiously, hoping that Teresa hadn’t been shot. He had already lost so many people, he couldn’t lose her either, in spite of everything she had done to him and his friends. He knew that he was still safe when Janson spoke again.

“Come on, let’s not prolong this. We both there’s no way out of here.” Thomas didn’t need to be told that and he was sure that Teresa didn’t either. The room only had one door and there was no way to get to it without Janson seeing them. And there was no way that he was going to let them leave. But maybe, just maybe, he’d let Teresa go if Thomas stayed. That small bit of hope for the girl he still cared for had him moving out from his hiding spot. He couldn’t save Newt, he was too late for him, but maybe he could save Teresa.

“Let’s not make this anymore painful than it needs to be.” Janson somewhat warned them of what he could do if they continued to elude them. Thomas had to stop moving once he was out in the open and leaned back against the desk, the drawer handles digging into his back. His strength, little as it was at this point, was continuing to wane. His entire body felt so heavy he wasn’t sure if he could move ever again.

“Thomas. Teresa.” Janson called out to them, which was the first time he did so to the young man since he entered the room.

Thomas was in the middle of debating if he should try to move again to get Janson’s attention or if he should just wait for the older man to find him when a loud gasp captured his attention. He turned his head to look out pass the corner of the desk to see Teresa on her hands and knees on the other side of the room while Janson came around to stand in front of her, gun pointed right at her head. As Teresa scrambled back away from the head of security, she disappeared behind another desk. The only person Thomas could now see was Janson.

“I think you have something of mine.” Janson said to Teresa, which slightly confused Thomas. What did Teresa take? Was Janson talking about him, or something else?

“Not that. Where is he?” The grey-haired man confirmed that he wanted the teenager whose blood could cure the Flare.

“Just take it. Leave him alone.” _It? What was she offering Janson?_ Thomas wondered. He craned his head to try and see Teresa had, by she was still out of his line of sight.

“What is it with you two? You think he’s so special? He’s a lab rat. He was born with a gift. He never had to fight for it, he never earned it. He doesn’t deserve it.” Janson told her, his voice full of anger and frustration. It was almost as if the man was jealous of him or something. Well, if Thomas could give the _gift_ to Janson or someone else who wanted it, he would. He didn’t want it, not at all.

“Maybe. But it’s his.” Teresa replied. There was a pause in the conversation, then Janson addressed Thomas.

“What about you Thomas? What do you have to say? Don’t you have enough blood on your hands already?” Janson asked, his voice louder so that Thomas could hear him clearly. When Janson first started talking to him, he looked over at the man who was still pointing his gun at Teresa. He looked away however at the mention of blood on his hands as the faces of Newt, Chuck, Alby, and Winston ran through his head.

“You might not have been able to shoot her. But I can.” Thomas immediately started looking around for anything that he could use as a weapon when Janson blatantly threatened Teresa. He couldn’t let him kill her. He couldn’t lose her, not her, not right after Newt. Spying a microscope lying on the floor, he reached over to grab it as Janson said, “Okay. Fine. Have it your way.”

After he had the microscope in hand and adrenaline flooding his body, giving him strength that he wouldn’t have otherwise, Thomas got to his feet and yelled, “Janson!’”

With all his might, he threw the microscope at Janson, aiming right for his head. Janson however managed to duck out of the way so it hit the glass wall on the other side of him. Only seconds after throwing the microscope, Thomas’s legs caved under his weight once again and he fell back down to the floor. He was able to push himself back up against another desk though.

Janson quickly stood up straight again once he saw Thomas fall and as he moved his gun to point it in the injured teenager’s direction, he said, “Missed you little sh*t.”

“Did I?” Thomas questioned with a calm voice.

While Janson had been the intended target, he knew what the microscope would hit if the older man managed to duck. It would hit the glass wall behind him, the wall that stood between them and the two Cranks imprisoned in the room that they had ignored. He hoped that he had thrown the heavy object hard enough that it would break the glass and when nothing immediately happened, he thought he failed. Now, he could see the cracks in the wall growing as it started to become audible. Janson also heard it, causing the smug expression that was previously on his face to vanish before he turned his head to look over his shoulder.

“Oh sh*t.” Janson cursed two seconds before the two Cranks charged right into the wall, breaking it down completely and attacked him. Janson screamed as they pushed him to the ground and landed right on him.

Thomas didn’t want to watch this. He had enough horrifying images and memories burned into his brain even without remembering his life before Maze, and knew what the Cranks were going to do to Janson. There was a part of him that felt a sick satisfaction at the fate of the man who hunted down and hurt his friends, Thomas simply didn’t want to see it though. He couldn’t move though. His mind felt frozen and he wasn’t sure if he even had any strength to move. Luckily though, Teresa chose that moment to rush over to his side.

“Come on. We need to go.” Teresa told him. Apparently knowing that he wasn’t going to be able to move by himself, she grabbed his right arm and placed it around her shoulders. Then, she put her left arm around his waist before yanking him up to his feet, holding the hand that hung limply over her shoulder tightly in hers. Once they were both standing, Teresa led him outside of the room.

Not knowing exactly where to go, nor could he walk without help, Thomas let Teresa lead him to wherever she thought was best. He simply held his free hand against his still-bleeding wound in an effort to stop it and walked alongside the young woman beside him down that hall. They could see that the main hall looked okay, so they started to make their way down it, both hoping that they would find a way out but then, one of the broken lights started shooting down sparks, blocking their path. They backed up, not wanting to risk a spark causing them to catch fire and turned to go the opposite direction.

“This way. Here.” Teresa said as she started to lead Thomas to a door he hadn’t noticed. He could feel her struggling under his weight more and more even though she had only been holding him up for a minute or two. He tried to support himself more so she didn’t have to, but wasn’t sure if he actually succeeded.

Teresa opened the door and instantly pulled him inside. Thomas quickly saw the stairs going both up and down. They started to walk towards the stairs that would take them to the bottom of the building, but stopped when they saw it was on fire. There was no way to go but up, so that’s what they did. He wasn’t exactly sure how they were going they were going to escape from any of the top floors, but maybe Teresa did. He hoped she did.

After climbing to the top of the stairs, they went through the only door that was there and found themselves on the roof. Thomas and Teresa walked further onto the roof before they stopped and stared. Though they both knew there was a massive fight going on outside of WCKD’s headquarters, especially Thomas as he was out on the streets and saw it firsthand, they were now seeing how much damage had been done. Buildings were crumbling and collapsing. The sound of explosions going off filled the air along with the smoke. The entire city was burning.

“Come on.” Thomas barely heard Teresa’s desperate voice above the noise of destruction in the air. Without giving him a chance to respond, Teresa turned him around and started leading him towards the door.

They didn’t even make it five feet before there was an explosion on the other side of the exit. They both stumbled backwards away from the door that was now catching fire, but Thomas immediately lost any balance he had and fell down once again. As he tried to get back up, he saw Teresa rush over to his left side before dropping to her knees beside him. She didn’t try to get him to stand up again though. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her.

At this point, they were both panting. They might be outside, but with all the smoke in the air, it was difficult to breathe. Thomas leaned against Teresa, his head and shoulder against her chest. He knew there was a possibility that he could die if he came here to rescue Minho, and while he didn’t particularly want to at the time, he was okay with that now. Thomas knew that Minho, Frypan, Brenda, Jorge, and Gally were alright, they would get out. And since Ava and Janson were both dead, there wouldn’t be anyone after them. They’d be okay. He was okay with dying beside Teresa, even though he didn’t want her to die.

Teresa. Thomas pulled away from her a little so that he could look straight into her eyes. She was still looking around their surroundings, but turned to look at him when she felt him move away from her. She lifted her hands to cradle his head in them for a few seconds, then lowered one of her hands again. Thomas, no longer able to even hold his head up, leaned on the girl beside him. He wanted to close his eyes, go to sleep and never wake up. After all, there was nothing left to do. Before he completely closed his eyes though, he saw Teresa move her closed hand over to his and opened it.

There, resting on her palm, was a clear vial with a blue liquid inside. The serum made from his blood, the cure. Thomas instinctively grabbed it with the hand that wasn’t resting on his wound and looked at it. All of this happened because of this. Everything that happened to his friends, to the other Immunes, was all because WCKD wanted this. As Thomas gripped it in his hand, feeling the heat from the flames around him, smelling the smoke in the air, remembering all of his friends and others he knew that had died for this, he didn’t think it was worth it. Too many were dead or hurt for this to be worth it.

His attention was brought back to Teresa when he felt her shift a little before she lowered her head so her forehead met his. Looking up into her eyes, Thomas saw tears running down her face and with a choked-up voice, she said, “I’m sorry. I tried.”

“I know.” Thomas told her. The anger and hurt he felt because of her betrayal that he had carried for months now was gone. He knew that despite what she had done, she tried to protect him, tried to help him escape from Janson. He knew that she cared about him, about all of them.

They both leaned forward and their lips met in a kiss. It was the first time that they had ever kissed, that Thomas could remember anyways. He wasn’t sure if they had ever kissed before the Maze. If they had, it would explain how strongly they felt about each other, especially so quickly after she joined them in the Glade. One thing was certain though, this was going to be their last kiss, and they both knew it. They pulled away after a few seconds, leaned against each other and waited, listening to the distant explosions and the fire crackling below them.

Then, the loud roar of an engine broke through the noise of destruction around them. The teenagers moved their hands to look behind them and saw a Berg rising through the smoke before it stopped, hovering at the edge of the roof. Immediately realizing that this was their chance to escape, Teresa pulled Thomas to his feet and helped him walk towards it. The Berg started moving again, causing them to move faster out of fear of it leaving them behind. The sudden change in speed however had Thomas stumbling even more than he already was before he fell back down.

“No!” Teresa shouted, instantly grabbing his arm again and forcing him back up. Thomas, not sure how much longer she could hold him up and not wanting to risk her dying because she was trying to save him, tried to walk on his own more so she wasn’t holding all of his weight, but couldn’t. He was too exhausted. 

That was when he heard familiar voices calling out his name. Lifting his head to look up, Thomas saw the hatch of the Berg had been opened and he could dimly make out the figures of his friends standing on the ramp. The sight of them was apparently all he needed because he felt adrenaline start flooding his body like it had earlier. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to give him the strength he needed to continue putting one foot in front of the other. He was still leaning heavily on Teresa and was quickly losing the strength he had gained but the voices of Minho, Frypan, Brenda, and Gally urging him on kept him moving. He had to keep moving so that his friends could all get out of here safely. He knew that they weren’t going to leave him, that the only way to get them to safety was to keep moving, so that’s what he did.

Once Thomas and Teresa reached the edge of the roof, they found another obstacle they had to get through. The Berg wasn’t steady, it was moving closer to the building, then farther, and the space between them was much bigger than they thought. Now that they were closer, Thomas could clearly see his friends, but could also see Vince there as well which surprised him. Where did Vince come from? They didn’t bring him along, didn’t even tell him about their plan to come to the Last City to rescue Minho. Yet here he was, holding out his hand.

Teresa yelled at them to get closer as Thomas struggled to remain upright. Vince, still keeping his hand outstretched shouted to him, telling him to jump. Knowing he didn’t have the strength to make such a leap, Thomas reached out to take Vince’s hand instead and was actually able to grasp it, but his shaking legs crumbled under him yet again and he fell, letting go of the hand that was trying to save him. With how many times he had fallen, with how many times he and Teresa had gotten so close to escaping tonight only for something to get in the way, it was as though fate was trying to stop them. It was like fate was telling them, telling him, that he shouldn’t survive, that he didn’t deserve to live. It was because of him that most of his friends were dead. What right did he have to live if they didn’t?

Apparently Teresa didn’t agree with fate. She got down beside him, prompting him to try again. Thomas then held out his hand again even though he was still on his knees and wasn’t able to be anywhere close to reaching someone. Another explosion rocked the building and the Berg, pushing everyone back a little, giving them all an unneeded reminder that they were running out of time.

“Come on.” Teresa urged him before pulling Thomas up. Before he could do anything, she pushed him forward towards the Berg with all her might.

Thomas hit the ramp with most of his body, but his legs were left dangling over the edge. His friend immediately rushed forward and dragged him up until he was completely lying down on the ramp on his side, about two feet away from the edge and out of danger. Though he didn’t actually move on his own, being pushed, then dangling, then being pulled had taken a lot out of him. Falling on the ramp had put a lot more pressure on his bullet wound that not only made him feel like he was being stabbed, but also made his ears ring. The teenager was surprised he was still conscious. But he was and because of that, he saw that Teresa hadn’t jumped yet. She was still on the roof.

For some reason, the girl wasn’t actually looking at him or their friends. She wasn’t even looking in their direction at all. She was staring at something to her left. Thomas turned his gaze over to see what had taken her attention away from escaping and felt whatever blood was in his body completely freeze. The building next to the one she was standing on had finally collapsed, crashing right into WCKD’s headquarters.

“Teresa!” Thomas called out to her, begging her to jump. Then, she looked back at him.

At that moment, time seemed to slow down even though he knew that it was still passing normally. Despite the distance between them, they stared at each other so intensely that it was as though they were only centimeters apart, and yet, Teresa still didn’t move. That’s when Thomas realized that she wasn’t going to. She wasn’t even going to try to save herself. He didn’t have time to do anything about it before she gave him a small smile, one telling him that it was okay, and the building collapsed under her.

“No!” The scream ripped through his mouth as Thomas watched Teresa fall. He stared in horror and shock, completely helpless to save the girl he still cared about, the girl he loved.

As Teresa disappeared in the smoke and rubble, the injured teen felt something wet running down his cheek but ignored it. Thomas felt as though everything was happening too fast and too slow at the same time. The only clear thought he had was that he couldn’t lose her, couldn’t lose someone else. He leaned forward towards the edge of the ramp, hoping that would be able to see her if he looked closely, that he’d see some way to save her. Hands suddenly grabbed him and pulled him back away from the opening, and that’s when it truly hit him, like a hammer to the chest. Teresa was gone. She was dead and there wasn’t anything he could do to change that.

Thomas laid still and quiet on his back, no longer able to form a coherent thought. His entire body had gone numb. He could no longer feel his friends running their hands over him, couldn’t even hear what they were saying. The only reason he knew they were talking was because he could see their lips moving, but only barely. Everything was becoming blurry to him and darkness was edging his vision. Thomas didn’t fight to stay awake anymore. Any fight he had in him was now gone, he didn’t even want to try. He was so tried, and he was done, done with everything. So, he let the darkness claim him, hoping that it was all over now, and hoping that his surviving friends knew that he tried to do the right thing. He tried.


	4. All My Fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is split between Thomas’ and Minho’s POV.

Thomas felt like he was floating inside of a fire pit. It was though he was burning alive even though he couldn’t physically feel anything, besides the pain that is. Along with the sensation of the flames running all over his body, there was a feeling of pain with it. He wasn’t sure where the agony flooding his body was coming from, but it felt like it was everywhere. He wanted to out, to beg for someone to help him but he couldn’t make a sound. At least, not that he was aware of.

The darkness and pain had been broken every now and then, only by the sound of voices talking. He was never able to make out what they were actually saying though. It sounded like he was underwater and they were above it, but he did get the sense they were worried about him. Worried about something anyways. What words he did manage to make out didn’t make any sense to him. It was only a word or two here and there, and he couldn’t even tell who was speaking. So he didn’t really pay any attention to who was talking. Besides, he deserved this, didn’t he? He couldn’t remember why but he was sure he did.

As he continued to float in the burning, painful, darkness, he was completely unaware of time passing. He had no idea how long he had been trapped in the inky black, it felt like he had been there for years, but finally, there came a point where the pain started to lessen. It wasn’t much but it was a welcome reprieve for the teenager and with the fading agony came the feeling of something cold and wet on his forehead which started to pull him out of the darkness. Thomas, lost in exhaustion, confusion and pain didn’t try to fight his growing awareness but he didn’t try to wake up either. He just waited to see what would happen next.

It wasn’t until he started feeling his limbs again that he decided to try to wake up. Realizing that his limbs were still there and that since he could feel them he might be able to control them again, he wanted to find out what was going on, wanted to know what happened and why he was in pain. Awareness started to come faster once he started trying to wake up. He felt a thin and hard mattress underneath his body and a light weight over his legs and waist. Under his fingers he felt a fabric that slightly irritated his skin, making him want to push it away, but he still didn’t have the strength to move.

He didn’t think he moved but he must’ve done something because at that moment, a hand suddenly grabbed his and a familiar voice said, “Thomas? Thomas, are you awake?”

Thomas tried to remember who the voice belonged to, he knew that he knew it, but no answer came to him. So he tried to open his eyes, hoping that if he could see who was talking he’d remember, but he couldn’t. While he might finally be able to feel his body besides just the heat and pain, that didn’t mean he could control his limbs and muscles. The person who was with him apparently didn’t know that because after only a few seconds, Thomas heard the voice again, “Come on, Thomas. Open your eyes.”

Despite the person now pleading with him, Thomas didn’t try to open his eyes again. The failed effort itself exhausted him to the point where he could feel the darkness he had just escaped from pull him back under again. Simply staying at this level of awareness was tiring enough. He just didn’t have the strength to do anything more. And since he didn’t want to fall back into that dark, burning, painful pit again, he used the little strength he did have to stay out of it.

For a little while, nothing much changed. The person who was with him didn’t speak again and his grip on his hand loosened. Thomas knew the person was a ‘he’ due to his voice, but that was about it. It wasn’t until a few minutes later, he assumed it had only been minutes that had passed, that he heard a loud creaking noise. It was so high-pitched that his ears started throbbing in protest. If he could, he would’ve groaned, would’ve begged for the noise to stop and covered his ears to try and block the noise. Since he couldn’t do any of that however, he was left to suffer in silence.

Even though he couldn’t ask for the noise to stop, it did on it’s own before he heard another voice start talking. It wasn’t the same one as before, which told Thomas there was now someone else here with him. Unlike the last time someone was speaking he couldn’t make out what was being said. The new person’s voice was too quiet. Then he heard the other person speaking, the one who had asked him to wake up and to his surprise, he couldn’t hear what he was saying this time either. His voice was also too quiet.

As the next few minutes passed, the two people continued talking, completely unaware that the person on the bed was trying to hear what they were saying. Thomas quickly stopped trying though once he realized that unless they spoke louder, he wasn’t going to be able to hear what they were talking about. So instead, he let the conversation wash over him. He still had no idea who was in the room with him but their voices were comforting. He felt safe with whoever was with him.

The peace that Thomas was feeling was suddenly interrupted when he felt the coldness on his head disappear. Then, he started panicking. The cold was what brought him out of the burning darkness, it calmed the flames that was running through his veins. Now that it was gone, he could feel the fire returning again. He tried again to open his eyes, to let the two in the room with him that he was awake. To open his mouth so he could tell them to put whatever that was on his head that was cold back on his head, but he still didn’t have the strength. If anything, he had gotten weaker since the last time he tried.

With his body once again burning, the darkness began to pull him back under and he could no longer fight it. Right before Thomas slipped back into the abyss though, he heard a voice, the one belonging to person who had just come into the room minutes earlier, say right by his ear, “You better live Greenie. We’re only here because of you.”

**MRMRMRMRMRMRMRMR**

Minho sat still in the chair beside the cot that Thomas was lying on in the medical room on the boat that was taking them to the safe haven. It had been almost three days since they escaped the Last City. Three days since Newt and Teresa had both died. Three days since Thomas had passed out on the Berg with a bullet in his abdomen. Minho instinctively closed his eyes as memories of that day ran through his mind.

It was a mad scramble, trying to keep Thomas alive. He was losing so much blood and wouldn’t wake up no matter how hard they tried to rouse him. Luckily, they found an exit wound so they didn’t have to worry about taking the bullet out. It took longer than they wanted to get the bleeding to stop, but once they did, they thought they were in the clear. Then, Thomas developed a fever only a day later right after they got on the boat.

After Lily, the woman who had become the Right Arm’s doctor when Mary was killed, examined him, she found that Thomas’s wound was infected. In hindsight, they probably should have seen something like that coming. They hadn’t been able to clean Thomas’s injury since there wasn’t much medical supplies in the Berg and they had been so focused on stopping the bleeding that cleaning the wound never occurred to them. And besides, nothing has ever gone easy for any of them before. Why would it now?

Lily did her best to clean out the infection and gave the injured teenager the few antibiotics she had but the fever had yet to go down and Thomas still remained unconscious. Minho, Frypan and Brenda had been taking turns keeping watch over their friend with Vince, Jorge and Gally taking a few shifts here and there. Along with them, there were several people like Harriet, Aris and Sonya who had checked in on him. Everyone seemed worried about him. As first, Minho was surprised by the number of people who came to see Thomas, then he remembered that he had been held by WCKD for months. A lot could’ve happened during that time. Plus, Thomas never had a hard time becoming friends with people. After all, he got several of the Gladers to follow him in only a week of knowing each other.

Minho, with his elbows on his knees, chin on his closed hands, examined his friend closely for what felt like the millionth time in the last few hours, looking for any sign that Thomas was waking up. His skin was so pale it was almost white, though his cheeks were bright red. His dark brown hair was soaked with strands sticking to his forehead due to the sweat and the water running from the cold cloth that usually laid over Thomas’s head. It wasn’t there right now as he had taken it off a few minutes ago, having realized that it was no longer cold or wet and put it in the bowl filled with the ice-cold water on the table beside the cot. Now that some time had passed, he grabbed it, wrung it over the bowl so it wasn’t too soaked, then laid it back over his friend’s forehead. Seconds later, Thomas moved.

Or at least, Minho thought Thomas moved. It was possible that he was so tired and had been staring for so long that he just imagined it, but he could’ve sworn the fellow teenager’s eyes had twitched. He leaned forward to get a closer look and waited. If Thomas really was waking up now, he’d see more signs of it soon. When he spotted the unconscious figure’s hand twitch again before the fingers curled up slightly, he smiled hopefully.

Leaning forward even more, Minho grabbed his friend’s hand, the one that had moved, and said, “Thomas? Thomas, are you awake?”

Thomas didn’t make any sound or movement for the next several seconds, but then Minho felt the hand he was holding twitching yet again and the injured teenager’s head turned slightly in his direction. Minho felt hope rise in his chest and he squeezed his friend’s hand a little tighter as he moved even closer and tried to encourage Thomas to wake up, “Come on Thomas. Open your eyes.”

Minho waited with bated breath, but Thomas’s eyes remained shut. He continued to watch patiently until a full ten minutes had passed. After that, he leaned back against his chair, fear and disappointment replacing the hope that he felt only moments before. H felt like he had been waiting forever for any kind of sign that his best friend, one of the few he had left, was going to be okay. With everything he had been through, with everything they _all_ had been though, was that really too much to ask?

The former runner was pulled from his thoughts by the loud creak of the rusty door hinge, telling him that someone was entering the room. Looking over his shoulder, Minho saw that it was Gally.

“Hey. How’s he doing?” The blonde asked, closing the door behind him.

“Still completely out of it. There was a moment where It thought he was waking up, but, I was probably seeing things or something.” Minho answered, turning his head to look back at Thomas.

“Lily did say his fever was down a little. Maybe he was.” Gally told him as he walked over to Minho and sat in the other chair that was by the foot of the cot Thomas was lying on.

“If he was, it didn’t last very long. He didn’t even open his eyes.” Minho informed him with a dejected voice.

A few seconds passed before Gally said, “Thomas is a tough shank. He’ll pull through this just fine.”

Minho turned his gaze back to Gally with a raised eyebrow, “Since when are you the optimist?”

“Since somebody needed to be I suppose.” Gally replied, looking down at the floor.

Living in the Maze did not really make any a glass-half-full kind of person. Being trapped in the Glade, surrounded by walls, a constantly changing maze filled with Grievers and having no memory of life before they woke up in the box or who they really were tended to put a damper on everyone’s attitude. Sure, they had the runners who were supposed to find a way out and while that did give some people hope, eventually they all succumbed to the notion that they were never getting out. The first person that came to Gally’s mind when he tried to think who was probably the most cheerful and optimistic person in the Glade was Chuck. No matter happened, Chuck always seemed to have a good mood. After Chuck, the next person was probably Newt.

“It’s all my fault.” Minho’s voice was so quiet and Gally was so lost in thought he almost didn’t hear him. It also took a few seconds for Gally to realize what Minho had said and once he did, he immediately started shaking his head.

“No Minho, no. It’s not your fault.” Gally quickly objected.

“Isn’t it? This all happened because I got captured by WCKD. If I hadn’t, then Thomas wouldn’t be lying here dying and Newt would be, Newt would be,” Minho broke off, unable to finish that sentence as tears gathered in his eyes. He still couldn’t believe that Newt was gone.

“Minho, the only ones who are to blame for this, are WCKD. They did all of this, to all of us. They are responsible for what happened to Thomas, not you. And Newt,” Gally paused as he felt a sharp pang in his chest at the thought of the other friend they had just lost only days earlier but brushed it off and continued, “Newt was infected. He wasn’t immune. Even if you didn’t get caught by WCKD, he still would’ve gotten the Flare.”

“You don’t know that.” Minho responded, shooting him a quick glare before turning his attention back to Thomas.

“Minho, not coming to the Last City wouldn’t have made Newt safe from the Flare. Actually, considering how quickly he got sick and succumbed to it, he was probably already infected before they left their camp at the docks.” Gally told him.

Minho didn’t say anything. It was clear to him that Gally wasn’t going to accept the fact that this was all his fault, and maybe he was right, but Minho didn’t care. Still staring at his injured friend, he noticed that the rag on Thomas’s forehead was drying up again. He reached out to touch it and found that it was warm. So he pulled it off and placed it back in the bowl of water on the table. As he did that, he heard some footsteps causing him to look over his shoulder to see that Gally had stood up and was walking towards him.

Once he had reached him, Gally put his hand on his shoulder and said, “Why don’t you take a break? I’ll watch him.”

After a moment of hesitation and consideration, Minho nodded. He was exhausted, he could use some sleep. He stood up and let Gally take his chair. He walked over to the door, then paused and looked back. He couldn’t see the blonde’s face but he could hear his voice.

“You better live greenie. We’re only here because of you.”

Minho smiled slightly finding it a little amusing that it took all of this for Gally to be kinder and for him to actually somewhat care about Thomas. Especially since he had tried to sacrifice both Thomas and Teresa to the Grievers. He didn’t say anything though. He just walked out of the room to go get some sleep in his own room.


	5. Never Forget

_Chuck stood beside him, a circle of red on his shirt. Then, he fell to the ground. Thomas fell down beside him, begged him to hold on while the youngest Glader put his carving in the older teenager’s hand. Then, his body stilled and his eyes grew lifeless._

_Newt stared at him with a stunned expression as he stopped moving. Thomas stared back at him, then found the knife sticking out of his chest. He then fell backwards and landed on the hard cement, no longer breathing._

_Teresa smiled at him and before he could react, the building under he gave way and she fell. He screamed but it was too late, and she disappeared in the smoke._

With a loud gasp, Thomas shot up, having finally pulled himself out of the darkness he had been trapped in for so long. A burning stab of agony in his side instantly had the teenager’s attention and having had enough of fire to last him a lifetime, he swung his legs over the edge of the cot he was lying on, lifted his shirt and looked down. There, on his right side above his hip was a gauze pad. Just like that, his brain cleared and his memory returned. Going to the Last City to rescue Minho, Gally being alive, Newt having the Flare, both Newt and Teresa…

Feeling tears prickle the corners of his eyes and a strong urge to deny what he knew was true, he brushed the thought off and looked around. He found that he was in some sort of shack. It had obviously been made in a hurry due to the fact he could see through the cracks between the tall, thin, logs that were more like sticks that made up the walls. There wasn’t any door, just a curtain that was blowing in the gentle breeze. There wasn’t even a proper roof, just more blankets or sheets which kept the sun from burning him as he slept. Thomas also quickly noticed another cot against the back wall, a table made of the same kind of sticks that made up the walls, bottles and vials on top of it, giving the impression that the shack was supposed to be the infirmary. As he continued his examination, he found he was completely alone.

Worry began to settle in his stomach. The last thing he remembered clearly was seeing Teresa fall, then being laid on his back surrounded by his remaining friends. He didn’t know what happened after that, didn’t know where his friends were, didn’t even know where he was. The familiar need for answers and concern or the people he cared about quickly had him standing up from the cot to begin his search for answers. The wound in his side throbbed in protest and his legs shook a little under his weight, but he ignored it and walked to the doorway and pushed the curtain away.

The breeze was light as it hit his face, but it carried the strong scent of salt water. He could smell the ocean right before his eyes saw it several meters in front of him. The infirmary shack he was in was about 10 meters away from the beach and was on higher ground. Thomas stared at the sight, confused because he didn’t recognize any of this. They had been living right by the ocean for months while they got the boat ready to take them to the Safe Haven, but this was clearly not their camp. They were in real houses that had been built before the Flare, not shacks that looked like the ones in the Glade. There were also several docks that stuck out into the ocean with several broken down boats that were tied up to them, barely floating, and they weren’t there now. The only thing Thomas did recognize was the lone ship out in the once all alone.

It wasn’t until he heard the sound of distant voices and he turned his head in the direction it was coming from did he realize that he must be at the Safe Haven. And considering the group of people surrounding by houses and tents that were being in the process of being built, he had been here for a while.

_Just how long was I out_ , Thomas wondered, then decided to go check everything out. Maybe his friends were there. They could probably tell him what had all happened.

As he got closer to the large camp, he quickly recognized several people that were part of the Right Arm and several immune kids, which solidified his assumption that he was at the Safe Haven. He also noticed that the buildings he had seen in the distance were built a lot like the one he had woken up in. Walking further into the camp, he saw garden had already been planted and people were already working the soil. He didn’t pay that much attention to all he noticed though. With every step he took, he looked for Minho, Frypan, Brenda, Gally and Jorge, and grew more and more worried when he didn’t see them. He didn’t even realize that the people who had seen him enter the campsite had stopped working and were either following him or staring at him.

Finally though, his eyes landed on his friends who had apparently already seen him coming because they were coming towards him. Minho was leading the group, who hung back a little but still followed until both Thomas and Minho came to a stop, leaving about five feet in between them. Thomas could see the mix of worry and relief on his best friend’s face, telling him that he was happy to see him up and about but was still concerned if whether or not he was okay. The brunette was worried about the same thing for Minho. He was the one that had been WCKD’s prisoner for six months, not him.

As they continued to stare at each other, both saw that the other was alright and hugged each other. With his arms wrapped around one of his few remaining friends and the others standing around them, a strange sense of peace came over Thomas. There was no mission they needed to go on, no search that needed to be done, no questions that needed answering. No need to run, at all. WCKD was gone and they were finally safe.

**MRMRMRMRMRMRMRMR**

Despite how late it was, despite of the fact that everyone else had gone to sleep, Thomas remained wide awake. His body felt tired and completely drained, but his brain remained beyond active. All he could think about was Newt’s letter. The words that his friend had written down before he died kept running through his mind over and over. He had only managed to read it through once before he started crying, but with how the words kept repeating themselves in his brain, he practically had it memorized. And the more he thought about it, the more confused he got.

How could Newt not have any regrets? How could he say that he wouldn’t change anything that happened? Thomas didn’t understand that he could feel that way. If he could go back and change some of the things he did, he would. He would do it in a heartbeat. He would’ve tried to find a way to save everyone in the Maze. He would’ve pushed Chuck away so he wouldn’t get shot. He would’ve kept a closer eye on Teresa in the Scorch so he could stop her from contacting WCKD and letting them know the location of the Right Arm. And he would’ve gone with Teresa when she asked so he could get the cure for Newt and wouldn’t gotten out of the building with her before it collapsed.

_Would’ve, should’ve, could’ve…_

Thomas sat up on his hammock. He had been tossing and turning for hours now, trying to fall asleep but it was impossible. The peace he had felt earlier in the day was long gone. Sure, he wasn’t being hunted and neither were his friends, but now guilt and regret plagued his mind and he had no idea what to do about it. One thing he was certain of though, was that he was not going to be getting any sleep tonight. So he stood up and made his way through the sleeping crowd and out of the half-finished building towards the giant rock sitting on the sand.

In the last few hours since Vince encouraged everyone to carve the names of the people who they’ve lost on the boulder, the entire thing was pretty much covered. When he first saw it, he was pretty it wasn’t going to be big enough to fit all of those names. There was easily at least a hundred people in the Safe Haven and all of them had lost so many people, either to the Flare or to WCKD. Looking at it now, he knew he was right. Even though some had tried to write small to leave space for others, it was hard to do and there weren’t many blank spots left.

It was hard to make out some of names due to lack of light as the campfires were on the verge of going out, but there were some he could read clearly. As he studied the names, Thomas lifted his hand and ran it over the rock, his fingers tracing the carvings. There were several names that he recognized. Alby, Winston, Chuck, Newt and more. Their names shouldn’t be on the rock. None of those names should be. They should be alive ad here in the Safe Haven.

“You doing okay kid?” Thomas turned around to see Vince coming towards him, looking a little concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just couldn’t sleep.” Thomas answered.

“Would’ve thought you’d be exhausted. You’ve been through a lot lately and you’re still healing from that gunshot wound.” Vince said, stopping once he was only a few feet away.

“It’s probably because I’ve done nothing but sleep for the last few days.” Thomas suggested casually, but the adult still looked worried.

“You were suffering from a bullet wound, blood loss, infection, and fever. That doesn’t count as sleep. A lot of people were worried about you.” Vince responded.

“Maybe it would’ve been better if I didn’t wake up.” Thomas mumbled, looking down at the sand under his feet. Although his voice was extremely quiet, it was apparently loud enough for the Right Arm leader to hear him.

“Why on Earth would you say that Thomas?” Vince demanded, taking a few steps closer to the teenager.

“If I had been smarter, faster, than all my friends would still be alive. I got them all killed.” Thomas replied.

For a long moment, neither of them said anything. Thomas kept his head lowered, eyes down on the ground while Vince continued watching him with a careful eye. Then, he came right over to Thomas and as he put his hand on the brunette’s shoulder, he said, “Thomas, no. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” Thomas finally raised her head so Vince could see his eyes but before the older man could interject, Thomas continued, “I’m the one who led them out of the Glade and into the Maze where the grievers were. I led them into the Scorch where the Cranks were. I brought Teresa to the Right Arm without even thinking that she’d call WCKD in spite of all the signs she gave me. I led the attack on the Last City. I got Newt and Teresa killed. I got so many killed.

At this point, Thomas could feel the tears in his eyes that he was trying to force back start running down his cheeks. Unable to continue keeping Vince’s gaze, he again ducked his head and leaned his back against the large boulder. Thomas then lowered his body to the ground, sitting down on the sand with his legs outstretched in front of him. The wound in his abdomen throbbed in protest to the movement but he ignored it, feeling as though he deserved it.

“You know what you did Thomas?” Vince wondered in a soft tone as he sat down beside him. The teenager turned his head and raised it but refused to meet Vince’s eyes.

“You, Thomas, did that.” Vince said, pointing at Thomas then at the camp in front of them.

When Thomas remained quiet, Vince started to explain, “You were the one who gave us the coordinates to WCKD’s compounds, trials, and labs, which gave us a chance to save several Immunes. You brought your friends out of the Maze which you were supposed to. You brought them into the Scorch to save them from WCKD. You planned and led the attack on the train where we were able to save more kids. You went to the Last City to save Minho and not only did you save him, you saved even more kids and took down WCKD.”

Thomas looked over the camp again, the sight starting to blend into the darkness. It wouldn’t be long before the campfires completely died out and then he probably wouldn’t be able to see it. There was no moon out tonight. He stayed silent, thinking over everything Vince had said but he couldn’t really believe him. Sure, he may have saved a bunch of people, though he still didn’t fully remember some of it, but he had mostly been focusing on saving his friends and he had lost a lot of them. And there wasn’t anything he could do to bring them back.

Vince put his hand on Thomas’s shoulder, pulling the young man’s attention back on him and then he said, “You made some mistakes, yes. Everyone has made mistakes, even me. But considering everything you’ve been through, the situations you were in, you did pretty good. But you can’t blame yourself for Newt. He had the Flare. You couldn’t have stopped that.”

Thomas stayed silent for another moment before he finally spoke.

“When we were breaking into WCKD’s headquarters, Teresa told us that the serum wouldn’t save Newt. Then she said that there was something about my blood and that she wanted to run some tests. I refused. I thought that she was trying to trick me or something. I didn’t realize that she was on to something, that she was putting pieces together that I didn’t even see. And later, after we got Minho and got out of the building, Teresa spoke over the intercom and said that my blood could save Newt. That it cured Brenda and could cure Newt and everyone else who was infected. I was going to go back and take Newt with me so we could sure, but it was too late. I was too late. I should’ve gone with her when she asked.”

Squeezing Thomas’s shoulder, Vince said, “There’s no way you could have known any of that. No one blames you for what happened. If anything the others are blaming themselves. And if you didn’t make it, they would’ve been beating themselves over that too.”

Thomas hadn’t thought of that. He was too swallowed up in his own guilt to even consider the possibility that his friends would also feel guilty over everything that happened. If anything, he thought they’d all be blaming him, just like he was. Looking back on it now he could see how the others could blame themselves. Brenda, Frypan, Jorge, even Gally, Newt and Teresa. They all had their parts to play and play them they did. And it ended with two people dying. However, he highly doubted anyone felt guilty over Teresa’s death, and most certainly not to the extent that he did.

“I don’t just blame myself for Newt and all my other friends that I lost. I blame myself for Teresa. I’m still angry at everything she did, but I still cared about her. She shouldn’t have died. I didn’t want her to die.” Thomas quietly revealed, remembering how Newt had confronted him about his feelings for the girl who had turned her back on them.

“She did save your life. And I suppose she had wanted to save Newt and the others who were infected. Plus, you two were fairly close before she sided with WCKD from what I’ve gathered. It’s, natural, that you’d feel that way.” Vince replied with a bit of bitterness in his voice which didn’t surprise Thomas. If Teresa hadn’t called WCKD all those months ago, the people who died in that attack, like Mary, would still be alive. Thomas was actually a little surprised that Vince was comforting him about Teresa at all.

“One thing I know for certain though Thomas,” Vince continued, holding up his free hand, his index finger up in the air in front of the brunette’s face before he continued, “that unless you forgive yourself and accept what had happened, you will never be able to move on. You have to make your peace with it.”

Thomas stared at him for a few seconds, then turned his head away and whispered, “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Maybe not right now. It’ll probably take some time, but I know you can. You’re not the kind of person to just lie down and wallow in guilt and regret.” Vince replied.

Thomas made no response to that. He couldn’t even think of one. He didn’t really agree with Vince’s last statement though. The older man had become a bit of an authority figure to him over the last several months. He was actually one of the only adults that Thomas trusted, and respected, but that didn’t mean that he told him everything. Vince didn’t know how many times Thomas had nightmares about his friends dying, how many times he’d lie awake thinking of how he could have done things differently so his friends would still be alive. He had just pushed the thoughts away so he could focus on saving Minho and stopping WCKD. Now that he had done that, he had nothing to distract himself with.

“Try to get some sleep. It’s late and you need your rest. Plus, you’ll be able to think better.” The long-haired man said, clapping Thomas’s shoulder lightly. Thomas nodded though he remained in his spot and still stayed quiet. Vince frowned, but as he had said everything he could think of to say, he stood up and walked away, deciding that the teenager just needed some time.

Thomas waited until Vince was completely out of sight before he reached into his pocket and pulled out Newt’s letter. As reread the words Newt had left for him, he felt tears starting to flood in his eyes again. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to go on without Newt and Teresa. Sure, he still had Minho, Frypan, Brenda, and the others, but the blonde, accented teenager had become Thomas’s closest friend over the last six months when they were planning Minho’s rescue. He had always been at his side, ever since they met in the Maze and though Thomas couldn’t remember it, he had a feeling they were best friends before then.

And Teresa, well, how was he supposed to feel about her? There had been a connection between ever since she arrived in the Maze. She had been present in almost all of the memories he had before WCKD took them away. He was still hurt and angry at what she had done, siding with WCKD over them. Letting them kill, kidnap, and torture their friends for a cure. But Newt was right. Despite all of that, he did still care about her. He loved her, and she died to save him. He told her to leave as Janson chased them through the building, but she refused to leave him, and now she was dead.

_Would anyone besides me miss her?_ Thomas suddenly wondered. As far as he knew, she had no family. Her Mom had been infected with the Flare and was probably dead by now, and she never mentioned anyone else. The others that were in the Mazes WCKD created didn’t remember anything before that, so if they were friends, they didn’t know it. Odds were, everyone who did know Teresa or knew about her, hated her for betraying them. Suddenly, he stood up and looked over the rock again.

Though the stone was filled with names, Teresa’s name was absent. No one had written it among the others. Thomas wasn’t really surprised by that, but it felt wrong. Despite everything she had done, she was a victim of WCKD’s experiments and had died during the fight against them just like everyone else whose name was carved in the rock. Seeing the carving tools lying on the sane, he reached down and grabbed them. Then, he got to work.

As he hammered out Teresa’s name, something strange happened. He felt a weight lift off of him, making his chest feel lighter. Thomas knew he would never be able to look back on his life and not wish he could change things. He was happy that Newt didn’t die regretting anything, but he couldn’t do that. But maybe, just maybe, one day he’ll be able to look back and remember the people he lost and smile at the good memories. Either way, he won’t forget them. He won’t forget their names, their faces, how they lived, or how they died. He’d remember all of them, until the day he died.


End file.
